Tuesday, January 31, 2012

There is a stirring...

There is a stirring in my soul.  A deep desire yearning to find fulfillment.  It's as though I've been in a desert, dry and parched, longing for a cold drink of water.  I'm desperate.

I want to be deeper drawn into the  lap of my Savior.  I don't want to just sit at His feet... I want to be deep in His embrace.  I want every word spoken to hang deeply over me like a dense fog.  I want to feel the tangible presence of my Daddy God.

I long for a relationship with Him as I have never known.  God, my Dad, is drawing this daughter into a place unknown.  He has a plan for me that I have not even begun to walk into. 

The feeling of, my time has past, is........ past.  I know that there is something more, something greater, something powerful I am to do.  It may be for my husband.  It may be for my children.  It may be for my church, friends, community........ I do not know exactly what or where or when... but I know I am preparing myself.  I am finding my ROAR (Lioness Arising)... so that when my path is revealed, I am ready and prepared to rise.

God, you made me a strong woman.  Forgive me for trying to fit myself into a "meeker and milder" role.  Yes, I am gentle, I am soft, I am feminine, but you gave me STRENGTH for a purpose.  Show me that purpose and allow me to rise up! 

Friday, January 27, 2012

In my weakness..

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”  2 Cor 12:9 (portion of verse)

Our state was once again hit with devastating tornado's this week.  This time, it was much closer to home.

A sweet friend of mine, lost her home.  In fact there were many homes in her neighborhood that lost everything.  I was able to go volunteer one day, and when I began walking down the street, the sight almost took my breath away.

My friend, her husband and two daughters were spared with just a few minor injuries.  If you could see her house, you would wonder how.  I know that angels were hovering in the midst of the storm.  I have no doubt, that they were shielded by the power of the Almighty.

But still, their home and so much of what they possessed was just wiped away.  The morning after the storm, her first Facebook post of the day was a lighthearted joke.  The same the next day.  When I saw her and as I've spoken with her, the grace and beauty that she has displayed through this ordeal has amazed me.  She has a peace that only comes by the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. 

I couldn't even begin to think of how many people she may have come in contact with this week.  And I am sure that of that great number, many do not know the Lord.  But what my friend has in her heart, she has lived outwardly and people have been watching.

I wonder how many lives will be forever changed because of meeting Clara?  I wonder who will stop and think, when their next "storm" comes, of the words she has spoken.  The words of praise and glory to God, that she has professed resolutely.

There are several people in my life right now, who are going through different types of "tornado's" in their life.  I wish they all had this same peace, this same grace at work in them.  Some do, and for that I am so thankful.  But there are a few, who only put their hope in a doctor.  My prayer is that someone, much like  my friend, will cross their path and share just as she has.

I will stop and think, when my next round of storms come, if His grace is being allowed to work in my weakness.  He is truly all I need.  He is able to do everything I can not.  He is able to calm my storm and hold this child all at the same time.  I hope that my life will be able to witness boldly, just as my friend has done.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Late night...

Can't sleep.  Can't find peace.  Feeling hurt and abandoned.  Nothing I can do to change the situation.... it just "is".  I am in great need of His presence..... so thankful it can always be found.

This song keeps running through my head......... 

 Hands reaching out
No one to hold
You've been abandoned
With no place to go
Wounded and wanting
Such desperate times
Cold bitter tears are filling your eyes

Get a glimpse of Jesus
For He is right there with you
He knows just what you need

When life gets broken
And you're in despair
He'll carry your burden
When it's too much to bear
It's down in the valley
Where He'll give you strength
And there is nothing you have lost
That He can't replace
He'll help you start all over again
When life gets broken

Verse 2
You hoped God would heal her
But she went home anyway
Now it's hard to imagine
How you'll make it through the day
Weeks turn to years
Time's passing you by
But you're still holding on
To the how's and the why's

Get a glimpse of Jesus
For He is right there with you
He knows just what you need

When life gets broken
And you're in despair
He'll carry your burden
When it's too much to bear
It's down in the valley
Where He'll give you strength
And there is nothing you have lost
That He can't replace
He'll help you start all over again
When life gets broken

Healing waters
heal our troubled souls
Jesus, sweet Jesus
Cleanse and make us whole

When life gets broken
And you're in despair
He'll carry your burden
When it's too much to bear
It's down in the valley
Where He'll give you strength
And there is nothing you have lost
That He can't replace
He'll help you start all over again
He'll help you start all over again
When life gets broken

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior; Who daily bears our burdens.
Psalm 68:19

During my prayer time last night, I was reading through some of the Psalms.   During this 21 days of fasting with our church, my prayers have been very specific for several of my family members.

I carry a deep and heavy burden for my brother.  We grew up in church, knew what God required of us, and he believed.  But now, he has been away from God for many, many years.  Sometimes, I feel if prayer for him is futile.  I feel like it is falling on deaf ears of God...  

Yet, last night while interceding for him, this verse jumped out to remind me, that God "daily" bears the same burdens I carry.  What a freedom!  

I grow weary sometimes, I admit, when prayers seemingly go unanswered.  Prayers that come from deep within me, you know those prayers that really do cause a "groaning".  I love how Beth Moore has described those prayers... that "ugly face" prayers.  But those are my deep prayers that kicks me in the gut and causes me to get on my face before God!

Sometimes it feels that I carry it alone.... but I do not.  God is faithful to remind me of that in His word!  I find comfort in knowing everything important to me, is important to God, and that I truly do NOT carry my burdens alone!  He is a great God;  full of compassion for His children and I am so thankful.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

When Something Bad... Turns Amazing...

 On that day a great persecution broke out against the church and all except the Apostles were scattered...  Those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went.  Acts 8: 1b & 4a

The church was being persecuted.  Saul was up to his tricks trying to destroy and stop the ministry of the Word.  There was much fear, so those who believed scattered in order to be safe.

They went out from Jerusalem, afraid, but not alone, for God's power and the presence of the Holy Spirit was with them.  Wherever they went... they preached the Gospel.  People were healed and their number grew even more!

Isn't it amazing when God takes a bad situation and uses it for His glory?  I've seen this happen so many times in my own life.  Yet we get so caught up in the "problem" we forget to see where God might be sending us in order to make a difference!

There was no way to diminish the gospel.  There was no way to stop the plan of God.  There was no way to silence those who have believed.  Those who have seen the signs and wonders.  They would share the saving grace of Jesus everywhere and anywhere they went.

There will never be a day when the enemy will stop trying to silence "the church".  Because he keeps trying to win.  But the church will never stop, because when those who believe are overwhelmed with persecution, problems, hurts, and fears... they still know a God who will come through.  They believe in a God who will use whatever challenge we have been allowed to face for His glory.

God knew before our name was ever spoken what would happen in our life.  He is not surprised by anything.  God is merciful and just and amazing, in that he takes us through our turmoil just to bring us through in order to share with others.

The gospel must go forth.  And God will use whatever means possible in order to reach those who do not know.  We must allow Him to use our hands and feet, as well as our circumstances, in order to complete the work of reaching the lost.

Are you ready to allow God to use your circumstances to spread His love to a lost and hurting world?

Monday, January 9, 2012


And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.  Acts 2:21

Today our church began reading through the book of Acts for part of our 21 day fast and upcoming services.  Sunday was an amazing service, I can't wait to see what God has in store for His people over the next 21 days.

I love this particular verse.  Because it gives HOPE!  Hope that everyone can be saved.

I have several family members who I constantly pray and intercede for.  Years have gone by and to my eyes, I see no change.  Their life continues to become darker and my hope for them grows dim.

Have you ever interceded for a long time wondering when God would ever hear your prayers?  I definitely have in these situations.  It seems like nothing is happening.  I grow weary at times.  I feel hopeless that there will ever be a change.  The decay and death that their actions bring, breaks my heart, and I know the heart of God.
Yet God's word assures me that everyone - anyone, who calls on the name of the Lord WILL be saved.  There isn't any "maybe" in that verse.  Nothing saying your sin is too great, or you haven't paid a high enough price yet.  None of the verse gives any "Plan A, B C" that has to be followed.  No, it is so simple, just call on the  name of the Lord.

I've heard people say that they will come to the Lord when they "get it together".  Oh my sweet friends, we do not have to wait.  Just call His name.  He is waiting.  He takes us as we are, where we are.  He loves us so unconditionally.  Call His name.. the sweet name of Jesus.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Press On...

...straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on... Philippians 3: 13b-14a

I am tired today.  My spirit is weary.  I want to quit.

Do you have those days?  Days when it seems like regardless of what you do, it isn't enough.

This is how I greeted my morning - weary and worn.  Yet, I trudge on.  Time to walk the dog, prepare a cup of coffee... sit down on the couch with a blanket and sink into my quiet time with God.

It's me Father.  I really need to just crawl in Your lap today.  There are some things happening that I just don't know what to do about.  Can I just rest?  I'm listening.

"Press on?"  What! " Press ON.... I'm with you.  I'm walking right with you step for step.  Rest when you must, but keep pressing on. There is a prize, a goal, it may be beyond what you can see right now My child, but press on."

I'm so glad to know that what I see at the moment is far smaller than what God sees.  It is hard at times to keep pressing, keep running for something you do not see.  Days like today, with burdens I do not know how to carry are hard.  In my selfishness, I'd rather just sit down and cry and have a "pitty party", but my Father said "Press on".

I love the wording of Philippians in the NIV.  The word "straining" is used.  One definition given for "straining" is - to exert to the uttermost.  What image does that give you?  My first thought was of someone weary, worn, sweaty, exhausted, almost on their "last leg"... yet still moving forward, even if it is slowly.

I find comfort in that thought today.  How many times have you seen a marathon runner cross the finish line looking like they just stepped out of a salon?  Never?  Me either.  So today, I may be slow, tired, worn, weary, frantic even... but I will take this life step by step and find the prize.  I may not see it, but it's there... and I will keep pressing.


Thursday, January 5, 2012

In the House

Those that are planted in the house of the LORD will flourish in the courts of our God. Psalm 92:13

We are called to be planted in the house of the Lord.  "Church" is not just a "good idea", it is a place each of us, as believers need to put down roots.

Now I am aware many people think "TV" church is good enough... or that a fellowship of believers isn't really necessary.  However I believe that if the Word of God speaks multiple times about being in His House, then we need to give it deep consideration.

We need a support of believers.  We need a safe haven.  "But you don't understand...", you say.  "I've been hurt."  Well my friend, join the long list of those who have.  But is that the only place you have been hurt?  Of course not.  What about at work?  In your own family?  In the social group you spend time with?  I'm sure that somewhere along the way, you have been hurt as well.  But do you throw your hands up and say "no more"?  Probably  not.

In Warrior Chicks I read the following:  Don't just make church a place where you spend an hour on Sunday.  Make it a place where you dwell.  It should be a place where REAL people with REAL lives and REAL problems can find REAL help as they worship a REAL God.

This is the church I want to be a part of.  Luckily, that is the place I have found.  But, it took searching, praying, visiting.... direction!  And even in this amazing church where I have "put down roots"... not everything is perfect.  But the saying goes... no church is perfect because it is made up of imperfect people.

Yet what I have found is a like minded friends who have become my support.  They have become my spiritual warriors.  I have found a place of safety to be myself and allow others to see the "real me".  It is my place to be rooted and God's promise is that I will flourish.

Where is your House of the Lord?  Have you put down roots, or are you just a Sunday morning visitor?  Find a "home", allow roots to grow, and see how you will flourish!  It is God's promise!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Focusing on Forgiveness...

12As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient. 13Put up with each other, and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14Above all, be loving. This ties everything together perfectly.  Col 3:12-14 (God's Word Trans.)

It is cold today, 25 degree the thermometer said.  I complained, I wasn't ready to be awake yet.  Our English Bulldog, Chunk said otherwise. The chill bit as we walked on the porch, but the sun was out and feeling it's warmth was lovely.

The leaves have ice on them.  The wind was blowing just enough to bring refreshing.  It was silent.  No one else stirring outside, except the chirp of a bird somewhere in the trees.  It was beautiful.  I thanked God for his creation, and for this unusual time allowed to just stop and listen.  Speak to me Lord, open my eyes and heart today... show me what you want me to learn today.

After preparing a cup of coffee, I opened my laptop to check my emails.  I see one come in and moan inwardly... what now.  Hurt, bitterness, anger rises up in just a moment and chokes out the joy I felt this morning.  I read the message anyway... suffering, illness, fear of the unknown is what was shared with me. God spoke... forgiveness.

But God... you know how she feels about me.  You know what she's done to my family.  YOU KNOW....  Oh Father, You Know.  And You forgave anyway.  You love them anyway.  You called them Your own... Forgive.  Forgive as You forgive.

In my search to be more like Him.  To grow closer to Him.  I must follow in His steps... and forgive.  Why is it so hard with some people?  Pride?  Yes.  Selfishness? Yes.  But that is not what God has called me to be.  I must lay down these "old man flesh" ways.  You can not move in my life and bless me unless I do.  I can't grow closer to You, unless I do.

Ok Lord, I see.  I understand.  I must be sympathetic to what has happened in her life.  I must be kind.  I must show humility first.  I must be gentle with my words.  Patient... that is the hardest.  Loving... I must share love for her.  I must love her regardless of anything from the past, present... even future.

I understand.  This isn't what I had in mind when I asked You to speak to me today.  I wanted something sweet and easy.  But I hear You.  I love You.  So, I will obey You.  Thank You, Father, for always forgiving and loving me.