Thursday, December 26, 2013

Wednesday Worship

Ok, I'm really a day late.  But.. yesterday was Christmas, and I was busy enjoying my family!

Worship is such a vital part of my life.  Music has always been what moves me, more than anything else in this world.  So you add music to giving adoration and praise to my Jesus, and I am lost in sweet bliss!

I hope to be more focused on my blog this year, life has not changed for the better, but my faith in God has.  I've learned that in trials of any kind, He will be glorified, if I will just surrender.  So, I was thinking what a better way to connect with my friends than once a week with my favorite worship songs.


Saturday, October 19, 2013

I will never be


I will never be enough as a wife.  I will never be enough as a mom.  I will never be enough as a daughter.  I will never be enough as a friend. I will never be enough as a worshiper.  I will never be enough as follower of Jesus.  I will never, ever be enough.

But through Jesus' redemption and grace I can be a wife who loves and serves her husband, in the best and worst of situations.  I can be a mom who loves her children with unconditional love and does all within my power to show them that Jesus will always be "enough".  I can be a daughter who honors her parents, even in their old age, and cares for and loves them as their time on earth begins to fade away.  I can be a friend who shares the burden others carry, the friend who is willing to pray and encourage along the way.  I can be unashamed and bold in my worship, giving the sweetest aroma I have to go before His throne.  I can share the love of the One who loves me, and give all I am to the One who gave all for me.

It is only because of Jesus, that I can be anything at all.  It is His grace who saved me, more than once, taking me out of the pit I dug for myself.  It is His blood, who washed me clean, and gives me a future. 

I may never be "enough", but Jesus is MORE than enough for me.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Been a while....

I have sat down several times to write, and ended up deleting it all. 

I guess I feel like I say the same things over and over right now.  And I guess I do.

We are still in a very hard place at the moment, but God continues to reveal Himself as forever faithful.  I have learned more about trusting God in all things, than I ever have.  Especially in my finances.  Tithing when you can't see how you are going to make a house payment or a power bill is really hard.  But through all of this, I have tithed.  And I will say God has been good to us, and this has usually come through the hands of others who have just listened to His voice.

It has been a humbling experience.  I do not like to ask for help.  I do not like to accept help, even if I didn't ask.  I have never been on this side of the fence, and it is really, really HARD!  I will be brutally honest.... I like to have control of my life and what happens in it.  The fact is.... I don't, and never really did.  God has complete control.  The only thing I can control, is releasing my life to Him and His plan.  Forty something years... and this is still the hardest thing in the world. 

One day at a time, one step at a time, and I continue to grow... and release my life into the Hands of my Father, who wants to give me good things.... whatever that may look like.

Sunday, June 9, 2013


I've always loved butterflies.... they are such beautiful and unique creatures.  My name is even a genus of the brush footed butterfly?   (Such as in the picture above.)

However, butterflies are not "born" beautiful and graceful.  They are ugly little caterpillars.

I believe that God has really revealed Himself to me through the process of a butterfly.... much of it I have heard before, or thought about as the kids and I did unit studies on insects... but some things have just hit home these days.

I have felt much like that ugly caterpillar who has found itself in  a cocoon.  All wrapped up and just stuck.  I've felt the changes happening in me.  Some have been very painful, many have changed the very "core" of who I have been.  Life has been a struggle, a struggle bound up, wrapped up, and stuck in a place of change I didn't really want to be in.

But God never leaves us there, just like the butterfly.  We may have to wrestle, and push, and pull, and struggle to emerge from that place we are in.... but that is ok.  Because it is in that struggle, we find our strength, and we send blood surging through our new "parts".  It is in those places of struggle that God does His best work in our lives.  So when we emerge.... we are glorious and beautiful and have become more and more of what He has called us to be.

I have not "arrived", but I am closer to who God has called me to be than ever before.  My struggles have shaped my faith in God in a way, I have never had faith before.  I have learned to trust Him in all things... not just the easy things... but in the really hard, life changing things.

I still have days when I struggle, but my wings continue to get stronger.  And I am so thankful for that.  Because days like today - when my husband can't move without pain, and the car is making noises that I know will cost money we do NOT have, and I am tired from working several jobs to help provide for my family after years of being a stay at home mom.... it is these days, that I can still say... I will trust you Lord, regardless of what I see.  I will believe that You are changing me and making me extremely beautiful in Your sight, because of every struggle I have. 

My friends, God is faithful.  I have never been in a place  like this in my life where things should seem so hopeless.... but it is in this place that God is changing me... from glory to glory.  Oh I still fail Him too often.  I still have small pity parties.  I still have challenges in my faith.... but oh how GREAT is my GOD.  And I will trust Him, and believe in His goodness every day, regardless of what I see.  My God is faithful.  He is powerful.  He is everything I need... all the time!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

He never fails....

I'd love to say life was back to "normal", but there will never be the old "normal".  I really would like to say we have a new "normal", but well, that hasn't happened yet either.  It seems every week holds something new. 

But one thing I can say for certain, is that God is always faithful and that He never fails. 

More later, just needed to make that affirmation "out loud".

God is always faithful, never failing.... always!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013


A record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ the son of David, the son of Abraham:  Matthew 1:1

It is unlikely many people enjoy reading the first chapter of Matthew.  For years, I skipped that part.  It was just so.... boring.

But as I have grown older in age and in my spiritual life, I have changed my perception.

I would love to say that my life has been the perfect example of a spirit filled woman, and that I had walked closely to God every step of the way... but I can't.  Although He has never been far from me, I spent too much time walking away from Him, and doing "my" thing. 

I see the lives of my children now, all spread out between six and 24, and I watch them make some of the same mistakes I did... I do.  Not all of my children are serving the Lord the way I would want, some are, and for that I am grateful every day! 

So what is it that gives me hope for my future, for my children's future, for the generations to come, should the Lord tarry?   The genealogy of Jesus..........  for in this line of men and women listed in Matthew.... you have people like David.  He had a heart after God, but he was a sinner - a murderer - an adulterer.  He found redemption and changed history. 

The Savior of the world, the one who was was crucified, dead and buried and rose again.... was the grandson of a sinner....  But oh what power Jesus held.

Now... I read the genealogy listed in Matthew, and I think of those mentioned and their stories.  And I have a hope, that my past is purchased and forgiven.  That my present is great enough to do amazing things through the power of the cross, and my future is still being written in my life, in my children's and in those to come.

Jesus, I am so thankful that the Word of God is true.  I can believe it all, and know that men and women who served you, whose history is recorded in this book, failed miserably at times, but still was redeemed and changed history.  I praise Your name, that forgiveness is mine.  That my past is a tool I can use for the good of others, and that my present is enough for you to work through.  I am in awe of the thought, that my lineage can still change the world.  You are so good.  Amen.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Even when, you aren't where you want to be...

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.  
                                                  Colossians 3:23,24

Do whatever you put your hand to, for the glory of God!

I really want to be at home.  I really want to homeschool all day, with my kids around me.  I really want to be able to clean MY house.  I really want to go back to how things were.  I really wish my husband were well.  I wish................

Those were the thoughts flooding my heart and soul and mind just a few days ago.  Most days, I'm ok with the changes that have taken place in life.... but this was not one of those days.  I was hurt and a little angry, and I was not happy about being where I was.

As I began cleaning the learning center, one of several jobs that I really am blessed to have at my church!  (My church family is amazing, and God opened doors when my husband lost his job and couldn't work any longer, my kids even can be with me some!)  I was tired.  I was missing home.  I  was missing my kids.  I was missing being what I had considered my "life".

God gently spoke into my being... "What would you tell your kids right now?", "What would you say to their whining, that things weren't the way they wanted it?", "What would you say when they didn't want to do "their" jobs?".  My spirit broke............. yes Lord, I hear You.  I would tell them that whatever they were doing, could glorify God, if they are doing it their best and for Him.  Yes Lord, anything I am doing, when I give it to you, can be for Your glory!

Our highest job, is to glorify God, in everything we do.  That can be in anything, even scrubbing toilets! 

God, thank You for helping me to see, that what I tell my children rings true for me too.  That anything I am doing, whether it is what I "want" to be doing or not, can give You glory!  Nothing is more important than glorifying You and making You known among the people.  May my face reflect your radiance, and may anything my hand finds to do, be done with a thankful spirit!  Amen.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

His Image

As all of us reflect the Lord’s glory with faces that are not covered with veils, we are being changed into his image with ever-increasing glory. This comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
                                                 -    2 Cor. 3:18

Unlike the days of the Old Testament, there is no longer a veil between us and God.  How awesome is that!!??  

We can go to God, face to face, and seek Him.  When we are in God's presence, the glow of His spirit is reflected on us.  As we have "face time" with the Lord, we begin to be changed into His image.  As we are changed, we reveal increasing JOY!
We can not be in His presence and not feel joy.  We can not be in His presence seeking Him, and not be changed!

Lord God, make me hungry for Your presence.  I want to sit at your feet and get to know you "face to face"... to be changed into Your image.  I want more and more of you.  And may Your image radiate from me!  May I be a shining witness for Your glory.  Amen.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

He knows...

Why, even all the hairs on your head have been counted! Stop being afraid. You are worth more than a bunch of sparrows. Luke 12:7

This verse is echoing in my head... because God knows every little detail about our lives... and He cares about every one of them.

This past weekend, my beautiful and amazing daughter married the love of her life.  We had a beautiful ceremony and the love and goodness of the Father shown all through it.  God Himself orchestrated their entire relationship, and it was a beautiful beginning for the happy couple!

Still in all the joy I have for her, today, I sit here and wonder, how does a mom handle the sudden change in life.  All these years, preparing, teaching, laughing, secrets, heartaches, midnight talks, tears - everything that a mom and daughter enjoy year after year, and then in a matter of moments... she belongs to someone else, in a new home and new life.

Now, I do realize that she is still my daughter, and we have more amazing times ahead.  But for now, this mom, really misses her daughter, and kissing her good night, seeing her face in the morning, and knowing where she is and what she is doing, and hearing all the details.  

Today, I find peace in this scripture... that even if "mom" isn't there, He knows and cares and sees every little moment of her life, and I can rest.  I do not (and should not) fear, because God is with her always.  If He cares about the birds of the air, He cares  a million times more for her (and me) and for every emotion and feeling that we are walking through.

Father, I'm so glad that you watch over your kids.  I'm so glad that you watch over "my" kids that you entrusted to me long ago.  I have no doubt that You are beside my precious girl today and every day, and beside this mom, who in her joy, still hurts from the missing.  You  know it all.  You are a good Father!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Listen Wisely

I’m surprised that you’re so quickly deserting Christ, who called you in his kindness, to follow a different kind of good news. But what some people are calling good news is not really good news at all. They are confusing you. They want to distort the Good News about Christ.                                                 -  Galatians 1:6-7

The Galatians are receiving a warning, to be aware!

I love to read.  I especially love to read books written by pastor's and christian laymen in ministry.  I love that so much insight can be given to me by others.  But sometimes, I get into a book that everyone has "raved" about, and realize... wow... something is just not right here.  

I believe that in today's society where there are so many "flavor's" of Christianity, I must be careful what I set my mind on when reading.  And even more so, I must be cautious of what is being taught to  my own children.  We must be diligent to compare everything by the one standard that never changes - the Word of God.

Jesus, I am so thankful for so many Godly writers, and for their passion to share Your word.   Please help me to be wise and make good choices in what I read.  Help me to understand, just because it is the latest and greatest, that it may just not hold up to the test of Your sacred Word.  And my YOUR Word, always be my first focus!  Amen

Friday, January 4, 2013

Asking for Prayer

....He hears the prayers of righteous people.  Prov 15:29

In the past few days I had to make a decision.  I have a family member who has chosen an  "alternative" lifestyle.  He is a very close family member.

I have not seen him is over six years, and most of my children have never met him.  It's been mostly my choice.... He isn't very fond of me - I'm his "crazy christian sister".

I'm also the mother of some precious children, including boys.  I have kept this door shut for a long time... and I believe my choice has been best for my family.

I was in desperate need of prayer.  I needed peace.  I needed to know someone was praying spiritual protection for my kids.  I needed to know that God has this all, and people I knew that really "had His ear" was in the middle of it.

So I sent a message to many of my Warrior friends.  Some knew what was going on, some didn't and just knew to pray.  I received so many responses, words of encouragements, scriptures to stand on, and more. 

I know that God hears every prayer I pray.  I know that He cares about me and my family more than anyone ever will.  I know that He is always with me.  But.... there is something special about knowing that at a particular time, when you need it the  most, you are being lifted up to the Father by other people. 

Moses needed people to lift his arms, the Word speaks of where 2 or 3 agree... and so many more places where God's people supported and prayed for each other........ it is scriptural.

Not everyone has to know your "business"... maybe only a few really close Warriors may know, others just know to pray........... But when we fail to ask for prayer, when we try to make it alone, when we try to take care of everything ourselves, we are missing out.  There is strength and PEACE in the multitude of praying people!  I am so thankful for that.

If you do not have at least one or two people that you can share needs with, that you can call on at any moment and know they are going to STORM HEAVEN for you, I pray that you find them.  I pray that God will make these types of people plain to you.  Pray for God to send them your way........ BE ONE for someone else who is in need.  It is so, so good!

By the way... I went to see this family member, and my children came too.  The moment I pulled in the drive, my Pastor's wife text me... Praying Now!  Oh what peace.  The visit was calm and just peaceful.  I pray that whether this person every listens to me, that the Light of Christ that shone from my children was enough to pierce the darkness.  That for just a moment, the love and compassion that Jesus gives to the lost, was shown fiercely through the smiles and laughter of my children.  God uses the smallest sometimes, to do the greatest things!  God is so good!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


After writing my blog for the 1st, God lovingly showed me my "theme" and the scripture for it for 2013.

He did not promise my year would be easy.  He did not promise that we would not struggle with even new hardships and changed.  But He did tell me, He is there, and He is my peace.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013 - A new year....

The Lord will give power to his people.
    The Lord will bless his people with peace. (Ps 29:11)

It is hard to believe another year had come to an end, and a new one has begun!

Last year held so many challenges for my family.  So many changes, and we are still working through setting a schedule and organize our time with school and just "life".  But I know we will find it soon.

God has taught me so much over 2012, about relying on Him.  My plans are dust to Him, I'm grasping that!   (Regardless of how hard I struggle with it.)  Only He knows what the path my life and the life of my family will take.

All I can do is stay in His Word, pray for His .Wisdom, and keep my eyes on Him.  I can rest when I do those things.  When life get's too busy with "my stuff" to give Him the time needed, everything is torn apart, and I stress.  It is only through a close and intimate walk with Him, that I can just relax and know that He has all things for my good in the works, even when it is NOTHIN, like what I had planned.

Why do we find it so hard, to simply trust that God knows what is best for us?  Why do we try to do it our way so often, only to fail?  How much hurt and pain would we go without, if we just learned to walk beside Him and listen?

This change of course for me, my life and my family is not over, there are still so many unknowns just around every bend, so for 2013, my goal is to daily learn to rest in His promises.  I want peace to rule in my life like never before.  I want His peace and rest to saturate my life.

I long to be closer to my Savior in 2013... and to see my family grow closer in the process.  I know I have little eyes watching me, and although they know I am human, and I fail, they do watch my relationship with Jesus.  May my feet never lead them astray.

Jesus, it is at Your feet, that I find rest and perfect peace.  May this year, be set in motion with me at Your feet, and in Your presence.  For everything in my life depends on it.  Amen.