Thursday, December 2, 2010

Time and life...

has not been on my side.... but it's all good.  God is still amazing!

We have finished our Beth Moore Study on Esther.  I must say it has been one of the best of her's that I have done.  So much of this study touched parts of my life "right now".  My small group was such a blessing and I love those ladies who listened to me share and who shared their hearts.

I think the greatest thing that I learned was the lesson: It's tough being a woman living in the grip of fear.  You see fear has always been something that has haunted me.  I come by it honestly, as my mom is a worrisome person.  She has kind of given that to me.  You know I am one of "those" kinds of ladies... who can play scenarios in my head of every possible bad thing that can happen.

My children, my husband, my family mean everything to me.  And I am sometimes almost crippled at the fear of something happening to them.  But I have learned a very important thing.... "then what"? 

Ok, so something goes, horribly wrong.  Then what?  I cry, I scream, I get mad at God.  Then what?  I pout, I whine, I grumble and wallow in my pain and suffering.  Then what?  With God... that then what is... I get up, I dust myself off, I know God holds me and my life and all around me in HIS hands and HIS plan is bigger than what my eye can ever see.  My "then what" is... I trust you  God.  I will rest in YOU.  That has been huge for me!

Thank you Father, that you hold my life in YOUR hands.  When I take it into my own hands... what a mess I make!  I give my life and all those dear to me to You (and sometimes that means daily, moment by moment even.)  But I do know YOU have it all under control.  I love you my "daddy God"... and I am so glad I am your child.

1 comment:

  1. FOund your blog through scrappin sisters - and just wanted to share that you're not alone - there are a lot of us out there that struggle with fear. One thing the Lord has asked me to consider is "If you should lose everything - am I enough?" and I know in my heart HE IS - and I pray that when I go through really tough times I can hold onto that truth. It gets me through a lot of anxiety even now...On anohter post - Mary pondering - made me wonder if you were at Deeper STill the beginning of December? Beth Moore - and Priscilla, etc were great!