Sunday, June 9, 2013
However, butterflies are not "born" beautiful and graceful. They are ugly little caterpillars.
I believe that God has really revealed Himself to me through the process of a butterfly.... much of it I have heard before, or thought about as the kids and I did unit studies on insects... but some things have just hit home these days.
I have felt much like that ugly caterpillar who has found itself in a cocoon. All wrapped up and just stuck. I've felt the changes happening in me. Some have been very painful, many have changed the very "core" of who I have been. Life has been a struggle, a struggle bound up, wrapped up, and stuck in a place of change I didn't really want to be in.
But God never leaves us there, just like the butterfly. We may have to wrestle, and push, and pull, and struggle to emerge from that place we are in.... but that is ok. Because it is in that struggle, we find our strength, and we send blood surging through our new "parts". It is in those places of struggle that God does His best work in our lives. So when we emerge.... we are glorious and beautiful and have become more and more of what He has called us to be.
I have not "arrived", but I am closer to who God has called me to be than ever before. My struggles have shaped my faith in God in a way, I have never had faith before. I have learned to trust Him in all things... not just the easy things... but in the really hard, life changing things.
I still have days when I struggle, but my wings continue to get stronger. And I am so thankful for that. Because days like today - when my husband can't move without pain, and the car is making noises that I know will cost money we do NOT have, and I am tired from working several jobs to help provide for my family after years of being a stay at home mom.... it is these days, that I can still say... I will trust you Lord, regardless of what I see. I will believe that You are changing me and making me extremely beautiful in Your sight, because of every struggle I have.
My friends, God is faithful. I have never been in a place like this in my life where things should seem so hopeless.... but it is in this place that God is changing me... from glory to glory. Oh I still fail Him too often. I still have small pity parties. I still have challenges in my faith.... but oh how GREAT is my GOD. And I will trust Him, and believe in His goodness every day, regardless of what I see. My God is faithful. He is powerful. He is everything I need... all the time!