Never too old for...

Vacation Bible School!  Seriously.

I love working with the kids at our church and for VBS every summer.  Such sweet kids, and seeing them learn more about Jesus is just awesome! 

I had been just as excited about this year, until some quick and unseen changes took place in the life of my family.  My thrill for the week changed to dread.  How was I going to be able to bring JOY to the kids, when I was feeling so defeated and down?  My range of emotions go from absolutely positive everything is going to be fine and knowing God is in control, to fussing at myself because I feel so insecure of where we are at the moment, and feeling like I am not trusting a very BIG God.

But VBS inevitably began... and as tired as I am... I am even more blessed.  I am finding it so "like God"  that He is speaking as much to myself and the other workers, as to the children.

So what am I learning this week?

No matter who you are........... Trust God!

No matter how you feel.......... Trust God!

No matter what people do......  Trust God!

No matter what happens........  Trust God!

No matter where you are.......  Trust God!

Maybe, I can remember this!

Faith....

Quote:  Having faith in God includes faith in His timing. - Neal Maxwell

Worn...
Weary....
Broken.....
Tears, tears, and more tears....

That is how my morning began.  There have been many "quick" changes in just a short time, since my husband lost his job.  I am just a mess of emotions and they come flooding out at the most inopportune time.

Sunday, my pastor, Tim Mills from LifeChurch Birmingham preached from the book of Job.  I'll be totally honest and say, at this moment... I kind of have that Job feeling.  I do thank  God that my health is still good... I'll pass on the boils! :)

I have been reading a book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp lately too.  (Visit my "gifts" tab on my page.)  This book is slowly and radically changing my life and the way I see every day, every "gift" regardless of how small or how large.

Ok, so how does all of this fit together today for me?   Job had everything taken from him, yet he continued to love and follow God.  His eye was on the Gift Giver, and not the gifts.  When all else around him was gone, he still had the greatest gift which was God.

I am learning to see the Gift Giver in every gift.  Even in these broken and uncertain moments in my life.  I am blessed with so much.  And although there is a lot of "unknowns" in my life and that of my family, I still have such an abundance of gifts.  Yet, in counting gifts in the small and simple things ( what I'm learning from Ann's book), my focus becomes in greater on the GIVER of these gifts.

For this Giver is where JOY is from.  My joy does not come from anything I posses, any gift that He see's fit to give me... My JOY is found in Him alone!

So this morning, when I was having my melt down in tears, I looked around me for those small gifts I usually wouldn't see as "gifts" and realize how much I am loved by the JOY GIVER... and I found peace.

May  my eyes remain on the GIVER of all things.  God, creator of all things big and small, help me to know that I have JOY in everything, because I have YOU.  May I feel Your presence and Your joy, even in the tears that fall.  You are so good to me.

Love this scripture....

Beauty....

Just a short post.  My son and husband, just came home today from an international Royal Rangers "Camparama" in Missouri.  While quickly flipping through the photo's from the week, this is what took my breath away.

This is my 11 year old son, with arms wide open, worshiping the Savior of his heart!  One of the most beautiful things I will ever behold. 

As a mom to seven children, ages 5 to 24.... all that matters at the end of my days is that they know the Lord and serve Him.  At this moment, almost all of my children have a relationship with God, only my oldest son wants nothing to do with Him.  But my job is not over, I have more in my home, living and watching me daily, to lead them closer.

When I stand before God someday... nothing I can say, will mean anything to me, other than I did all I could, gave all I had, win my children for the kingdom of heaven.

Living Fully...

A storm is brewing around my family.  Bad news, problems, despair.... seems to be coming to the surface daily right now.  The "old me" would have been filled with darkness and dread.  The "old me" would be frantic needing answers immediately... how do I fix this.  What do I do first.  How can I make everything "good". 

I am so far from where I want the "new me" to be.... but this "new me" who is learning to count my blessings in the midst of it all, is at peace. 

I have peace because I now God has walked us through a path almost the same as this one a few years ago.  I have peace because I have a Savior who has said, He will never leave me.  I have His Word, that tells me that He has only good things for me.  (That does not mean, I'll never go through hard things, but in the midst of these hard things, I will see HIM more clearly.)

My morning began too early.  Cloudy and dark, rain pounding the ground outside my window.  I just didn't want to face the day yet.  I feel worn, tired, empty.  So I pull out my journal and begin listing my gifts..... 

..... faith stretching
..... sleepy smiles
..... text from a friend praying

I am reminded... my JOY, comes from above.  Living my life in the moment by moment of His mercy... seeking His face... to see through His eyes...feel through His hands... love through His heart.... my JOY.... yes, it is in every things.  I must choose my perspective in how I see what is in front of me.

Learning Thanksgiving...

And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20

I am reading a wonderful book called:  One Thousand Gifts: Daring To Live Fully Right Where You Are.  It is beautifully written.  The author has a beautiful way with words... so it is a delight to read.

Oh, but what I am learning through it all.  I have taken on the challenge to list 1,000 things I am thankful for.  Things that are "gifts" to me, daily.  We use the verse in Ephesians and kind of swipe our hand over "everything"... thinking we are being thankful.

We have however missed the mark.  Are we truly thankful for EVERYTHING?  Can I say, thank you Lord, when my ice maker is out?  Can I see past the front of my house that needs work and cleaning, to say, thank You Lord, for my home?  I am being challenged, to be happy, to find JOY, right where I am. 

I challenge you to get this book and begin to read.  Start a list of things you are thankful for.... small things, big things, everything.  See how it affects your life.  I promise, you will find a joy, that you have never had.  I promise, that you will see blessing in the midst of the crisis.  It will change your outlook on life.

I challenge you again, to bring this home.  Have a wall, or a poster, or something in your home that you can have your children join you.  If they are older, buy them a special journal.  Create a home and family who understand gratitude.  It is a lovely thing!!!

More to come.. 

(Feel free to click on my link 1000 Gifts.)  Share some of yours!

Mid year check in.

My word for 2012 was FOCUS.  Little did I know how hard it would be.  It seems like this year has dissolved in an instant.  Life is moving at record speed, and I feel lost at times.  There have been some wonderful things happening, and I am thankful and blessed for each of those.  But I pray, that the next six months... I can do a better job of FOCUSing on what is most important.

My Personal Top Five:

1.  To give daily FOCUS to God in my prayers and devotions.

2.  To give FOCUS daily to continue to enrich and grow my marriage, and show my great love and appreciation to my husband.

3.  To FOCUS more intently on each child as a separate "soul" that needs to be fed and nourished with the love of God and His Word.

4.  To FOCUS on my health.  To make wise choices for my body.  (I need this!)

5.  To FOCUS in my choices of where to dedicate my time in order to fulfill my calling according to the talents He has given me.

My Home Top Five:

1.  To be more diligent with the education of my children and use our time wisely in order for each child to reach their fullest potential.  More hands on teaching!

2.  To use my time more efficiently to organize and manage my household and cleaning.

3.  To begin Mom or Dad date nights with the kids once a month.

4.  To better my "couponing" abilities and handle our finances in a more proficient way.

5.  To return to my love of scrapbooking/faithbooking in order to leave footprints of our heritage!

Grace

 What a beautiful and precious word.... Grace.

It covers me daily.

It allows me to sing praise.

It allows me to worship.

It allows me to know, how much HE loves me.

It reminds me that my past is covered.

It reminds me that my future is set.

It reminds me that there is always a way through the darkness.

It brings me peace.

It brings me hope.

It brings me to a place of surrender and praise to my King.

Grace............ what a beautiful and precious word!

Troubles...

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ.  2 Corinthians 2:14
In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade. (Message)

Grasping the idea that I can truly overcome, and walk through any situation, because Jesus and the Holy Spirit have given me unlimited power, is difficult.  Somewhere between the knowing He can do all things, and that He has given me the ability to do what He has done or even greater.... well, it get's lost in my mind!

In following Christ, we are promised that we will also go through trials and struggles.  That we will struggle, because we live in a fallen world.  These types of things are inevitable.  One of my "pet peeves" are ministers who seem to teach that if you are following Jesus, everything is wonderful and perfect.  That my friend is just not true.

The amazing thing is not that we will never go through any struggles or troubles, but that Jesus walks with us in them, and that He has given us strength and power to "press on".  If we try to do it all in our strength, we will fail miserably.  But if we keep moving forward, listening for His voice and watching His ways, then we will be pleasantly surprised by what we find on the other side.

Sometimes it is the "other side" of the troubles and trials and hard places, that we find more joy, more grace, more faith, deeper growth... and the list goes on.  If we just quit, every time something is not going our way (or the way we think it should be going) oh what we will forfeit. 

Help me to keep going, when I feel like it is not worth the battle.  Help me to believe that You have given me power, that sometimes I can't even see or feel within myself.  Give me strength and courage to keep pressing on, until I get to the other side.  For the prize ahead is so much greater than my mind could ever conceive.  Amen

Happy Mother's Day

 "Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come."
"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."

I will be honest, I have been so blessed all week.  My husband decided to do a week of mother's day!  So every day, I have received lovely gifts.  Just for me!  Things that spoke to my heart, my needs, my emotions...

I have seven wonderful children, two children in love, and one grandson (and grand baby on the way).  I am covering several stages of life all at once... it is a whirl ride of a time.  But one I wouldn't ever give up.  I have a 24 year old daughter (married) and a 20  year old son (married), my role in their life is so different, sometimes it is a blessing, and sometimes it is difficult.  Gone are the days when they listen to mom just because I AM the MOM.  But at this age, they make their path - good or bad.  For these two, I pray wisdom and God's grace.  Regardless of their age, this mom's prayers are never done.

Then I have an 18 year old daughter and a 17 year old daughter.  Two girls could never be so opposite as these two!  Being the mom of teen age girls with their feelings and heart on their sleeve is like walking through land mines.  Every day, sometimes every moment is different.  Prayers at this age, are sometimes easy, and then there are those gut wrenching, prayers of desperation.  You know the kind, the ones when you lay on the floor, snotty and red faced!  lol  Oh how I have had some of those nights.  But over the past year, I have seen so many of those prayers answered.  God has proven and assured me over and over again... He hears me and loves me and is going to answer.  The hard part, the REALLY hard part, is knowing that although they are "mine".... they really are His and He will do whatever He wants in HIS time.  Oh what grace and patience HE has on me. 

Then there is my 10 year old son, 8 year old son, and my 5 year old (bossy and prissy) little girl.  I love the prayers for these !  God lead them, love them, protect them, thank you for them, thank you for their life, their tears, their hugs and kisses.  Thank you for speaking to them while they are so young.  Thank you for leading their hearts to you at such tender ages.  I see God growing amazing and life changing "warriors" in these three.  I've had more time and more knowledge, more patience, understanding, and well... just about everything has been easier, only because God has taught me so much from my failures and successes with the older crew.  I love this age.  I love that God gave me a third "stair step" in our children!

I thank the Lord, every day that He has made me a mom.  I hope my older children know I did the best I could and followed the Lord, His Word, and my heart for them.  I love every one of them dearly.  I could not imagine my life with out any of them.  I hope they will have fond memories, even amongst the bitter sweet ones when I am gone.  Sheila, Shawn, Macaylin, and Amy.... I love you more than life.  My prayers for you are daily.  They remain always with you.  God can do mighty things with your lives, just allow Him to lead you!

For my Caden, Caleb and Cayla... may you know that you bring such joy.  Your lives will be a little different always, because of your brothers and sisters that grew up before you.  I will make mistakes still.  I will fail you at times.  But, I will always, ALWAYS, be there for you.  I pray for you daily.  That God continues to work in you NOW, every day, in every way, to bring you closer to Him.  May I be an even better mom in the days ahead, because I choose to walk closer  and closer to my "Daddy".

To all of my children, you will never know, what an honor it is for me, to be called - Mom, Mommy, Mama, and yes Shawn, even Maaaaaaa!  I love you, I love you, I love you!