What Do I Need To Learn...

from this Lord?  I've been perfectly and happily healthy for 40 years.  And now... when my life is full of kids, family, church, friends, school........... now, I fall apart.  What do I need to learn here?

This has been my question for the last 3 weeks.  Apparently my body is arguing with itself on how it should work.  My "autonomic" system is all out of whack and it is wreaking havoc on my life.

I do not sit still well.  I like to be busy.  I like to do things with my husband, kids, homeschool, friends, etc... sitting still and doing nothing is not in my vocabulary most of the time.  So God, why now?

I do not fully understand what is happening, the diagnosis, etc... but I'm trying to find answers.  But I know my God always has a plan.  I know He loves me and knows every part of my life and body.  I know that somewhere in this sudden change of my life... He is going to teach me something.

Lord, may I be faithful to you in this season.  I know that seasons come and seasons go, and for this moment... I will honor you with my praise.  Because I know YOU will work all things for my good... above and beyond all I could ever imagine. Amen.

God knows...

It seems our family continually walks through storms of some type.  A new one has just come into focus and I am at a loss.  I know that my God is faithful.  I know that He has written my story.  I know that I am a child of God and that He knows everything going on in my life and the life of my family.  And I cling to that.

However, there are those moments where fear and dread creep in.  Today is one of those days.  The unknown of what is happening overtakes me.  And waiting on appointments to find out more... well that is just painful!

I remember that my God knows.  He sees each tear that falls.  He is my maker.  There is nothing surprising for Him.  He knows my heart and holds it in His hands.  Today... I'm choosing to remind myself of that.. moment by moment.

Just because

this song is so fitting for my life and family right now... I had to share again!

Wow... it has been a while.

My 90 day challenge is still going!  It has been the hardest challenge I've had in a while.  Not because of "the challenge", but because it seems that the enemy surely wants me not to achieve my goal. 

I do not have much time to share at the moment, church is in the morning and it is already way past my bedtime, but soon we will have some coffee and catch up!

God is so good.  His mercies are new every morning.  And in spite of all the struggles of the past few weeks... HIS WORD STILL STANDS!

Are you ready?

I am so excited about the 90 Day Challenge beginning on Monday.  God has already been preparing my heart for this time, and yesterday, I found confirmation of two other things He was calling me to do during this time.

I am so very thankful that God has placed so many 'like-minded' people in my life over the past year.  It is so sweet to have wonderful, precious women in my life that God is calling to a higher place.  It is so sweet to walk this walk with friends.

I hope you will join me as I journal my way through the next 90 days.  Even better, join me in reading daily.  I just know God is going to move me and change me in mighty ways!  I am excited for the journey!

Sharing a new song....

I love this song.  I love the words.  I love the passion behind it.  I love that it speaks to so many people in my life.  I love that it is true.

I'm saddened however, because one of the people I love most in this world... doesn't see it, doesn't believe it, doesn't think it applies to her.  It is so hard to see someone run so hard away from what you know will solve all of their hurts and wounds and what will give them PEACE!

So... I keep praying.

90 Day Challenge is almost here!

Go on over to Mom's Tool Box and sign up for the challenge!  It will change your life.  I did this challenge last year, although it did take me a little longer than 90 days.  But my heart grew closer to God as he revealed things that I had never seen.  He made the "old stories" fresh and alive!

Join me in this walk!?!

Think...

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

Recently my pastor spoke on this verse.  I admit this is truly a verse I need painted on every wall, maybe even stamped on my hand.

Some days this thing called "my life" is amazingly wonderful.  I am so very thankful for those days.  Those are the days when it is easy to think on good things.  Think about happy things.  Keep my thoughts pure and lovely...

But mixed into those wonderful days, there is chaos.  I admit that I do not like watching the news.  I do not like to be ignorant of things going on in this world, but if I watch too  much news or talk shows, it created unrest in my very soul.  I have to remind myself that God is ultimately in control of everything.  Every time I take a breath into my body or exhale, He has control.

There are so many things that stand at the door of my mind, ready to take over and wreak havoc if I allowed.  And sometimes these thoughts do find their way in under the cracks.  Sometimes I open the door wide with my attitude or "not nice" thoughts about things.  I leave myself open and without any defense of the lies of the enemy when I do this.  I leave myself open to unrest, lack of peace, hurt, bitterness, and more.

For me, I have to PURPOSE to listen and abide by this scripture.  I have to have it constantly on my lips and before my eyes.  I admit that I am not very good at it so far.  But I am working on it.  Setting my mind on the things of God, rather than on the things of men, changed my total attitude and feelings.  When I allow my mind to think about all those things that relate to that verse, I allow my heart to be closer to the Father.  I allow myself to let go of all that tried to tie me down and weaken my walk with Him.  

What do YOU think on?  Maybe you are like me... and allow news, finances, family members, and everything else that causes unrest to cloud your mind instead of focusing on all the good things of God.  If you are...  write this verse out, stick it everywhere your eyes go on a regular basis.  Begin to train yourself on "right" thinking.  I promise, those days, are so much sweeter.

Lord God,  I am sorry that I allow so much to cloud my mind.  I know that You can help me.  I know that Your Word reminds me to think on good things.  Father, may I begin each day, with my eyes focused on You.  Help me to keep blinders set in place that would keep me from going into places that cloud my heart and mind with unpleasant things.  You are a good God, so very Good to your child.  I am blessed. 

When Storms Come...

Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a tested stone,
A costly cornerstone for the foundation, firmly placed.
He who believes in it will not be disturbed. 
                                    Isaiah 28:16

Alabama (and the South) was forever changed on April 27th with a massive tornado outbreak.  Again this week, Joplin, MO was hit with what they are calling the worst Tornado in 60 years.  The natural disasters that have happened globally is more than I have ever seen in my lifetime. 

Think back with me over just the last few years... what storms have you seen in your life?  Were they small thunder storms or massive F5 tornado's that left you devastated?  Maybe some of both.  For me, it has been at least one of just about every type storm there is.  My roof has flown off, water's have rushed in and washed away parts of my walls, pieces of my life's "furniture" has been tossed about and broken, and there has been loss of life.

Two days after the tornado's hit Alabama, my husband and I "had" to do something.  So we set out to just find places to help.  We went to Cullman and then into Hayden.  There is a small lake in Hayden where where there are some homes built around it. We drove through speechless from the destruction we saw.

We met one man who was driving his riding lawn mower helping another family move things, he had most of his own home destroyed. He asked if I had my camera and then invited us to walk down to his house and his neighbors to take pictures.  His home was destroyed for the most part, but there were some walls left.  However, next door a beautiful 3 story house was completely destroyed.  There was nothing left but rubble.  Those around shared the story of the couple who survived.  Glory to God. 

There is one thing that remained, wherever we went.  Regardless of business building or home, the foundation was still there.  Everything else may have been shaken, moved, ripped, toppled or blown away, except the FOUNDATION! 

Now think again about your storms... what remains?  For me it is my foundation.  Everything that I have, I have purposed to build on the foundation of Christ.  My foundation is my relationship with God.  My foundation is my salvation by the blood of Jesus Christ.  My foundation is the Holy Spirit that dwells within me.  My foundation is STRONG and can not be moved. 

Regardless of what happens in my life, my foundation remains steady.  Now, that does not mean I do not cry, get angry, grieve, feel sad, pray harder, ask God 'why'?  It does not mean I do not find myself curled up in a ball wondering what next... but I'm curled up on top of that foundation.  My foundation is never shaken... my foundation is solid.  My foundation is my hope and joy that I can rebuild again.  Brick by brick, piece by piece... slow or fast, I can build again.

Most of the people we were privilege to talk to after the tornado's were Christians and knew everything would be ok.  That their "foundation" was still solid.  But in our conversations, almost every time, the comment came... "I can not imagine what would happen if I didn't have my relationship with God.  How do those lost without the foundation of the Lord, find hope and joy and peace in the midst and aftermath of the storm?"

So, may I ask you....  WHO is your foundation?

I Might Have Missed It.

Monday, I attended my women's Bible study group with my church friends.  We are doing the Beth Moore study A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place.  I have so enjoyed this journey thus far, especially since I had just read all about the tabernacle in my 90 days through the Bible. (Which I am still doing, just dragging behind a little.)

Anyway... in our study yesterday we listened to week seek of the video presentations by Beth.  This entire week of lessons spoke to me so deeply, because in my heart of hearts... I am a worshipper.  That is what God created me to be.  From the heart He gave me, to the talents He enabled me with, etc... I love to worship!

There was a part of the lesson that spoke to loudly to me, that I had to share it.  I admit, I have been known to be "one of those" who see's everything as "why me".  Why do we not have the money we need to live "comfortable"?  Why can't we have new cars like "so and so"?  Why is keeping a daily devotion life so hard for me, when "so and so" it is so easy?  Why have we had so many crisis in our family to endure, when it seems "so and so" has such an easy life?  Well... do you see where I'm going with this?

Well Beth shared something that has transformed my thoughts... and it is a HUGE "ah ha" moment for me.  Basically she said:  Blessed is the person when God invades what comes naturally for everyone else, with the Supernatural.  Ok... do you GET this!!!

Perhaps God is saying to me.... you have been chosen to have a "tougher" road... where things are not as "easy" as it may be for everyone else.... because I have chosen you to see how I work in the Supernatural! If it were easy for you "Vanessa"... if everything came simply.... you would never see ME in how I work miracles!

So Blessed am I... that God has so chosen me... to be able to see things He is doing in the supernatural!

Wow... that was just a huge thing for me.  What a way to view trials and hardships....  And truly, knowing me.... He got it right.... because when everything is "easy going"... I am far less likely to be watching and praying and seeking....

Well.. I hope someone out there can get an "ah ha" out of this... because it was just amazing for me...

So just remember:  There is a reason everything doesn't come "naturally".  Maybe that reason is that I (you) have been CHOSEN to see God do the supernatural!  How amazing is that!!!