My verse for 2011.... My "one word" NEW!!!

The Lord says, "Forget what happened before,
and do not think about the past. 
Look at the new thing I am going to do.
It is already happening. Don't you see it?
I will make a road in the desert and rivers in the dry land.
Isaiah 43:18

Saying Good Bye to 2010...

I honestly can say... I'm very glad to see this year go.  I look back and am so very thankful for what God has given us, and brought us through.  We have had some very happy times, and some very hard and heart wrenching times as well this year. 

I find great joy in knowing my children are healthy.  I feel abundantly blessed that God lead us to a new church and has supplied some wonderful friends for my children (of all ages).  I am thankful that even through the darkest hours of life, God has brought my husband and I to a deeper commitment to each other, and to HIM!  I am blessed that our children have been witness to our trust and faith in God.  They have been witness to our hurt and "anger" and frustration at God as well.... because honestly... don't we all sometimes just NOT understand, if even for just a moment... WHY?  But our family as a whole has seen and been keenly aware that our small picture and "plan" is nothing in light of HIS ways and HIS plans for us and those in our life.

Our family has lost loved ones this year... and added some new ones.  For each I am thankful... for it shows that life begins and ends... and it begins and ends with the Father.  In HIM we have all things... and in HIM is our beginning and ending.

I am glad to say goodbye to 2010.. and welcome 2011 with open arms.  I expect God to be in total control.  I pray that when I lay my life and family down before His throne at the strike of midnight... that I am able to leave it there... knowing that HE has it all under control!

So... goodbye 2010.... thank you for the times of teaching, times of joy, and times of abundance and lean.  And Thank You.. that you are going out quietly... as 2011 is ushered in on my knees...  May I spent more time on my knees than ever before and more time in God's presence!

I love to read....

but I do not find time to do so often enough.  But one of my wonderful daughters gifted me with a new Ted Dekker book - The Bride Collector.  I love his books! :)

So I have read every moment I had.  My husband called me to bed... it was 2:45 am... I had NO idea!  :)

But the book was wonderful.  I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't read, but... I have some thoughts from it...

Did you know... YOU are God's favorite?  You are!  You are beautiful and perfect.  You are His favorite.  You know what is just as awesome?  So am I!  Yes my dear one... He loves us both... completely and perfectly and equally.  And for we who choose to love and serve Him... we are His Bride.  AHHHH... completely wonderful and beautiful.... and WE are HIS Favorite! 

Doesn't that thought just make you want to dance and sing!  That very simple thought... I choose to keep close to my heart.  I needed that little thought.  There have been some things happening around me.. that have made me feel less than loved.  Less than cherished and important to some people.... some that I thought were different.  Why do we place our importance on those in this world?  Do we want to be loved and accepted, yes of course... but I am trying to remember that my worth, my joy, my peace, my beauty, my very reason for being... is because I AM GOD'S FAVORITE!  So today... I will be happy, I will rejoice, I will be ready and beautiful for His coming!  For He has chosen me and I am HIS FAVORITE!!!

Tis So Sweet...

to trust in Jesus.  Just to take Him at His word..  ahhhh contemporary music is amazing, but I still adore the hymns of the church!  Just so simple and to the point... ha.

The after Christmas blues have set in on me I think.  So many things that I've just set aside that I must now focus on flood my thoughts.  I feel overwhelmed with much of it.  You know when one thing happens...and it seems to open the flood gates.... well that is where we were before Christmas... and now I have to calculate, add, subtract, worry, fuss... etc.  But today... that old  hymn is the first thing I've set into my thoughts. 

I choose to trust Jesus.  His Word is ever true.  I trust Him.  I know that He sees the bigger pcture in all things.  It is so good to know that although I only see a very small picture - a picture that sometimes looks realy dim - I know the bigger picture will be so much more than I ever imagined.  So Lord, although my mountain seems really GIANT at the moment... I know you are where my faith and trust shall remain!

What are your mountains?  Do you know how sweet it is to trust in Jesus.  To take Him at His word; to REST upon His promise.  Ahhh... rest, sweet rest.  I pray today that you and I both... find a sweet rest. 

Lord, I am so very blessed in so many ways.  Help me to not see you smaller than my mountains!!!  Let me know you are bigger, and I can rest in You.  Bless those that read my blog.  Bless those who touch my life.  Bless those who choose to rest in You and trust Your promises!  You are a great God!

Looking Into Christmas...

It has taken me a long time to get into the "Christmas Spirit" this year.  Thanksgiving was barely over before we were running all over the place for play practices, performances, parties, etc.  Christmas decorations were everywhere, except my house!   And no one was around long enough to help get them up.  But alas... I braved the cold and even worse "the shed" to dig them out! 

After all the unpacking, etc... my three youngest children were dancing around me waiting to put their ornaments on the tree.  It was such a joy to see the dazzle and excitement in their eyes as they looked into the lights on the tree.  Every child, has received a new ornament every year of their life... so considering our oldest is 22, and we have seven children... that in itself is a lot of ornaments!  I have several of my own special ornaments through the years.. and I enjoy placing them on the tree. 

So this morning, as I sit in my living room, with the sun just breaking over the top of the horizon, (drinking an amazing cup of coffee) I am looking at my tree.  Some branches hang low because there are too many ornaments, some branches have none.  There is a definite "patch" where my precious 4 year old has chosen to hang hers.  it is not perfect, it is not fancy, it does not have the latest colors to adorn the "catalog" pages... but what it does have... is mine alone.  Memories... of every year of the children's lives.  An ornament in memory of my grandmother, who adored Christmas. Handmade stars and angels, and bows and flowers.... it is a delightful tree!!! 

Lord, I am so thankful for these children, who fill my heart and my home.  I am thankful that they are healthy.  I am thankful that they are growing up loving you.  I am thankful that we have so much love, fierce love for each other, even in the midst of chaos.  I am thankful that my tree is full.  For as I see so many ornaments, I know that the time is coming where some will soon be missing, then a few more, and so it goes.  As each child leaves the house.. these ornaments we have hung for so many years with love and joy and excitement will go with them.  And Lord, when they begin to hang these ornaments on their own tree... may my children's eyes still be filled with wonder and amazement.  I pray that they will have warm and happy memories of their childhood... and know that they were so loved.  Thank you precious Jesus... for giving us the REASON to celebrate this season.

To Be Mary....

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  Luke 2:19

I have thought about this verse many times over the years since I became a mother.  Mary is very close to the top of my list of people I want to sit down and talk to when I arrive in heaven.  I want to hear the intimate details of what her heart felt knowing what a great responsibility she was taking on at such a young age.

I can not imagine knowing that I had been chosen to bring into this world the Son of God at such a young age... what faith God must have had in her.  I think about what it would be like now... in this world that we live in... for a young girl to face what she did... would she have kept the child.  How many blessings have been lost in this day and time.... but that's another post....

I know that I think on... "ponder" so many things for my children.  Will they be healthy?  Will they grow up happy?  Will they serve the Lord?  What is God's plan for their life and how can I help that?  Does God already know what they would be..  I "ponder" these things in my heart, as I pray for guidance from the Father to be the best mother and example of His love that I can be.

I wonder... how often did Mary call out to the Father she served, who was also the Father of her son...
I wonder... what was it like to kiss the face of the baby, that would also become her Savior...

I wonder......

Stepping Out...

Have you ever had a dream... but thought that it was too late?  Have you ever made what you thought was the right decision, which really wasn't, but God still blessed you with "good things"?  I have been there... think I am there...

Recently a friend entered back into my life... who is extremely talented.  Through his ability.. it has opened up a door to a dream that I had totally given up... to have my own ministry in music.  But wow, it is a HUGE step for me... a step of faith.  It is also a huge step for me.. to believe in the ability that God gave me... that other's would want to share it with me.

There is lot's of work to do, but it is exciting just to think that there may be a new day coming for me... and that my time and "youth" is still open to doing God's long planned will for my life.

Lord... if I have ever needed you... ever needed direction and simple assurance in my life, it's now!

Time and life...

has not been on my side.... but it's all good.  God is still amazing!

We have finished our Beth Moore Study on Esther.  I must say it has been one of the best of her's that I have done.  So much of this study touched parts of my life "right now".  My small group was such a blessing and I love those ladies who listened to me share and who shared their hearts.

I think the greatest thing that I learned was the lesson: It's tough being a woman living in the grip of fear.  You see fear has always been something that has haunted me.  I come by it honestly, as my mom is a worrisome person.  She has kind of given that to me.  You know I am one of "those" kinds of ladies... who can play scenarios in my head of every possible bad thing that can happen.

My children, my husband, my family mean everything to me.  And I am sometimes almost crippled at the fear of something happening to them.  But I have learned a very important thing.... "then what"? 

Ok, so something goes, horribly wrong.  Then what?  I cry, I scream, I get mad at God.  Then what?  I pout, I whine, I grumble and wallow in my pain and suffering.  Then what?  With God... that then what is... I get up, I dust myself off, I know God holds me and my life and all around me in HIS hands and HIS plan is bigger than what my eye can ever see.  My "then what" is... I trust you  God.  I will rest in YOU.  That has been huge for me!

Thank you Father, that you hold my life in YOUR hands.  When I take it into my own hands... what a mess I make!  I give my life and all those dear to me to You (and sometimes that means daily, moment by moment even.)  But I do know YOU have it all under control.  I love you my "daddy God"... and I am so glad I am your child.