A few short thoughts...

I have truly enjoyed the study on Esther.  We are about half way through and I will admit it has been one of the hardest studies personally I have gone through.  It's made me really look at myself, who I am, my destiny, God's plan for me... and even some of my 'ugly' stuff.  It's been hard.

I am thankful that God's grace and mercy has also extended to me through these few weeks as well.

My thought for today... is about fear.  Fear is something I struggle with.  I am one of "those" kinds of people who actually can lay in bed at night and thing through the "what if" scenarios that will never happen.  (Probably).  It has paralyzed me at times... .especially when it is my fears related to my children.  I think there is nothing in life I couldn't endure, except..... something involving my children.

But Beth game me something to think about.  If _____________________ then ______________________.  What is that for you?  If (the worst and unthinkable happens), then (what, what will I do.. really).  What if that unspeakable thing happens, then what?  What will you do? 

When I realized.... I'll scream, cry, writhe in misery, sleep, not eat, be mad at God, find peace with God, and move on...... it has given me freedom...   I pray the worst never happens, but IF that "whatever" happens... THEN my God will be with me and bring me through.  And IF I perish, I perish.  It's ok... I plan to be with the Father.

Lord, I pray for for anyone out there, who reads this, that they will allow God to be their "then what".  May fear not be a hold or a force in their life that the enemy can hold onto and hang over their head.  Lord may we all find that IF______________ THEN_____________________.  And may that always end with You.

Well as you see...

I have not done a very good job of posting since beginning the Beth Moore Study.  All I can say is that is has been wonderful so far... I will share, but life has been well "life"... and some days are just not as good as the other's.

However... God reigns and I know He holds me in His hands.

More later... Don't give up on me.