My verse for 2011.... My "one word" NEW!!!

The Lord says, "Forget what happened before,
and do not think about the past. 
Look at the new thing I am going to do.
It is already happening. Don't you see it?
I will make a road in the desert and rivers in the dry land.
Isaiah 43:18

Saying Good Bye to 2010...

I honestly can say... I'm very glad to see this year go.  I look back and am so very thankful for what God has given us, and brought us through.  We have had some very happy times, and some very hard and heart wrenching times as well this year. 

I find great joy in knowing my children are healthy.  I feel abundantly blessed that God lead us to a new church and has supplied some wonderful friends for my children (of all ages).  I am thankful that even through the darkest hours of life, God has brought my husband and I to a deeper commitment to each other, and to HIM!  I am blessed that our children have been witness to our trust and faith in God.  They have been witness to our hurt and "anger" and frustration at God as well.... because honestly... don't we all sometimes just NOT understand, if even for just a moment... WHY?  But our family as a whole has seen and been keenly aware that our small picture and "plan" is nothing in light of HIS ways and HIS plans for us and those in our life.

Our family has lost loved ones this year... and added some new ones.  For each I am thankful... for it shows that life begins and ends... and it begins and ends with the Father.  In HIM we have all things... and in HIM is our beginning and ending.

I am glad to say goodbye to 2010.. and welcome 2011 with open arms.  I expect God to be in total control.  I pray that when I lay my life and family down before His throne at the strike of midnight... that I am able to leave it there... knowing that HE has it all under control!

So... goodbye 2010.... thank you for the times of teaching, times of joy, and times of abundance and lean.  And Thank You.. that you are going out quietly... as 2011 is ushered in on my knees...  May I spent more time on my knees than ever before and more time in God's presence!

I love to read....

but I do not find time to do so often enough.  But one of my wonderful daughters gifted me with a new Ted Dekker book - The Bride Collector.  I love his books! :)

So I have read every moment I had.  My husband called me to bed... it was 2:45 am... I had NO idea!  :)

But the book was wonderful.  I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't read, but... I have some thoughts from it...

Did you know... YOU are God's favorite?  You are!  You are beautiful and perfect.  You are His favorite.  You know what is just as awesome?  So am I!  Yes my dear one... He loves us both... completely and perfectly and equally.  And for we who choose to love and serve Him... we are His Bride.  AHHHH... completely wonderful and beautiful.... and WE are HIS Favorite! 

Doesn't that thought just make you want to dance and sing!  That very simple thought... I choose to keep close to my heart.  I needed that little thought.  There have been some things happening around me.. that have made me feel less than loved.  Less than cherished and important to some people.... some that I thought were different.  Why do we place our importance on those in this world?  Do we want to be loved and accepted, yes of course... but I am trying to remember that my worth, my joy, my peace, my beauty, my very reason for being... is because I AM GOD'S FAVORITE!  So today... I will be happy, I will rejoice, I will be ready and beautiful for His coming!  For He has chosen me and I am HIS FAVORITE!!!

Tis So Sweet...

to trust in Jesus.  Just to take Him at His word..  ahhhh contemporary music is amazing, but I still adore the hymns of the church!  Just so simple and to the point... ha.

The after Christmas blues have set in on me I think.  So many things that I've just set aside that I must now focus on flood my thoughts.  I feel overwhelmed with much of it.  You know when one thing happens...and it seems to open the flood gates.... well that is where we were before Christmas... and now I have to calculate, add, subtract, worry, fuss... etc.  But today... that old  hymn is the first thing I've set into my thoughts. 

I choose to trust Jesus.  His Word is ever true.  I trust Him.  I know that He sees the bigger pcture in all things.  It is so good to know that although I only see a very small picture - a picture that sometimes looks realy dim - I know the bigger picture will be so much more than I ever imagined.  So Lord, although my mountain seems really GIANT at the moment... I know you are where my faith and trust shall remain!

What are your mountains?  Do you know how sweet it is to trust in Jesus.  To take Him at His word; to REST upon His promise.  Ahhh... rest, sweet rest.  I pray today that you and I both... find a sweet rest. 

Lord, I am so very blessed in so many ways.  Help me to not see you smaller than my mountains!!!  Let me know you are bigger, and I can rest in You.  Bless those that read my blog.  Bless those who touch my life.  Bless those who choose to rest in You and trust Your promises!  You are a great God!

Looking Into Christmas...

It has taken me a long time to get into the "Christmas Spirit" this year.  Thanksgiving was barely over before we were running all over the place for play practices, performances, parties, etc.  Christmas decorations were everywhere, except my house!   And no one was around long enough to help get them up.  But alas... I braved the cold and even worse "the shed" to dig them out! 

After all the unpacking, etc... my three youngest children were dancing around me waiting to put their ornaments on the tree.  It was such a joy to see the dazzle and excitement in their eyes as they looked into the lights on the tree.  Every child, has received a new ornament every year of their life... so considering our oldest is 22, and we have seven children... that in itself is a lot of ornaments!  I have several of my own special ornaments through the years.. and I enjoy placing them on the tree. 

So this morning, as I sit in my living room, with the sun just breaking over the top of the horizon, (drinking an amazing cup of coffee) I am looking at my tree.  Some branches hang low because there are too many ornaments, some branches have none.  There is a definite "patch" where my precious 4 year old has chosen to hang hers.  it is not perfect, it is not fancy, it does not have the latest colors to adorn the "catalog" pages... but what it does have... is mine alone.  Memories... of every year of the children's lives.  An ornament in memory of my grandmother, who adored Christmas. Handmade stars and angels, and bows and flowers.... it is a delightful tree!!! 

Lord, I am so thankful for these children, who fill my heart and my home.  I am thankful that they are healthy.  I am thankful that they are growing up loving you.  I am thankful that we have so much love, fierce love for each other, even in the midst of chaos.  I am thankful that my tree is full.  For as I see so many ornaments, I know that the time is coming where some will soon be missing, then a few more, and so it goes.  As each child leaves the house.. these ornaments we have hung for so many years with love and joy and excitement will go with them.  And Lord, when they begin to hang these ornaments on their own tree... may my children's eyes still be filled with wonder and amazement.  I pray that they will have warm and happy memories of their childhood... and know that they were so loved.  Thank you precious Jesus... for giving us the REASON to celebrate this season.

To Be Mary....

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  Luke 2:19

I have thought about this verse many times over the years since I became a mother.  Mary is very close to the top of my list of people I want to sit down and talk to when I arrive in heaven.  I want to hear the intimate details of what her heart felt knowing what a great responsibility she was taking on at such a young age.

I can not imagine knowing that I had been chosen to bring into this world the Son of God at such a young age... what faith God must have had in her.  I think about what it would be like now... in this world that we live in... for a young girl to face what she did... would she have kept the child.  How many blessings have been lost in this day and time.... but that's another post....

I know that I think on... "ponder" so many things for my children.  Will they be healthy?  Will they grow up happy?  Will they serve the Lord?  What is God's plan for their life and how can I help that?  Does God already know what they would be..  I "ponder" these things in my heart, as I pray for guidance from the Father to be the best mother and example of His love that I can be.

I wonder... how often did Mary call out to the Father she served, who was also the Father of her son...
I wonder... what was it like to kiss the face of the baby, that would also become her Savior...

I wonder......

Stepping Out...

Have you ever had a dream... but thought that it was too late?  Have you ever made what you thought was the right decision, which really wasn't, but God still blessed you with "good things"?  I have been there... think I am there...

Recently a friend entered back into my life... who is extremely talented.  Through his ability.. it has opened up a door to a dream that I had totally given up... to have my own ministry in music.  But wow, it is a HUGE step for me... a step of faith.  It is also a huge step for me.. to believe in the ability that God gave me... that other's would want to share it with me.

There is lot's of work to do, but it is exciting just to think that there may be a new day coming for me... and that my time and "youth" is still open to doing God's long planned will for my life.

Lord... if I have ever needed you... ever needed direction and simple assurance in my life, it's now!

Time and life...

has not been on my side.... but it's all good.  God is still amazing!

We have finished our Beth Moore Study on Esther.  I must say it has been one of the best of her's that I have done.  So much of this study touched parts of my life "right now".  My small group was such a blessing and I love those ladies who listened to me share and who shared their hearts.

I think the greatest thing that I learned was the lesson: It's tough being a woman living in the grip of fear.  You see fear has always been something that has haunted me.  I come by it honestly, as my mom is a worrisome person.  She has kind of given that to me.  You know I am one of "those" kinds of ladies... who can play scenarios in my head of every possible bad thing that can happen.

My children, my husband, my family mean everything to me.  And I am sometimes almost crippled at the fear of something happening to them.  But I have learned a very important thing.... "then what"? 

Ok, so something goes, horribly wrong.  Then what?  I cry, I scream, I get mad at God.  Then what?  I pout, I whine, I grumble and wallow in my pain and suffering.  Then what?  With God... that then what is... I get up, I dust myself off, I know God holds me and my life and all around me in HIS hands and HIS plan is bigger than what my eye can ever see.  My "then what" is... I trust you  God.  I will rest in YOU.  That has been huge for me!

Thank you Father, that you hold my life in YOUR hands.  When I take it into my own hands... what a mess I make!  I give my life and all those dear to me to You (and sometimes that means daily, moment by moment even.)  But I do know YOU have it all under control.  I love you my "daddy God"... and I am so glad I am your child.

A few short thoughts...

I have truly enjoyed the study on Esther.  We are about half way through and I will admit it has been one of the hardest studies personally I have gone through.  It's made me really look at myself, who I am, my destiny, God's plan for me... and even some of my 'ugly' stuff.  It's been hard.

I am thankful that God's grace and mercy has also extended to me through these few weeks as well.

My thought for today... is about fear.  Fear is something I struggle with.  I am one of "those" kinds of people who actually can lay in bed at night and thing through the "what if" scenarios that will never happen.  (Probably).  It has paralyzed me at times... .especially when it is my fears related to my children.  I think there is nothing in life I couldn't endure, except..... something involving my children.

But Beth game me something to think about.  If _____________________ then ______________________.  What is that for you?  If (the worst and unthinkable happens), then (what, what will I do.. really).  What if that unspeakable thing happens, then what?  What will you do? 

When I realized.... I'll scream, cry, writhe in misery, sleep, not eat, be mad at God, find peace with God, and move on...... it has given me freedom...   I pray the worst never happens, but IF that "whatever" happens... THEN my God will be with me and bring me through.  And IF I perish, I perish.  It's ok... I plan to be with the Father.

Lord, I pray for for anyone out there, who reads this, that they will allow God to be their "then what".  May fear not be a hold or a force in their life that the enemy can hold onto and hang over their head.  Lord may we all find that IF______________ THEN_____________________.  And may that always end with You.

Well as you see...

I have not done a very good job of posting since beginning the Beth Moore Study.  All I can say is that is has been wonderful so far... I will share, but life has been well "life"... and some days are just not as good as the other's.

However... God reigns and I know He holds me in His hands.

More later... Don't give up on me.

Week One - Day 1

Short thoughts today. 

Once upon a time..... always tell of impending doom.  So who wants a "once upon a time" tale...   I want a great story... so forget "once upon a time".

We all live in the "real world".  There is always "something" wrong...   to the ending of each story, is a happy outcome, but before we realize the happy ending... we will realize the grief."

WHEN WE TRUST OUR LIVES TO THE UNSEEN BUT EVER PRESENT GOD,
HE WILL WRITE OUR LIVES INTO HIS STORY AND EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM
WILL TURN OUT TO BE A GREAT READ!  WITH A GRAND ENDING.

Father God, I do not want a fairy tale, I have experienced much grief, show me how to step into YOUR story of my life that has a grand ending!  Amen.

Introduction -

Last night we began our study with Beth Moore on Esther. I am so very excited about this study!  My prayer is that God will reveal Himself to me in the ordinary and in the extra ordinary.  My God is amazing and powerful and at this stage of my life, I need Him more than ever before!

Some thoughts from the Intro Video.

If God has a mind to move into a play - HE will.  That being said... regardless of the office, the position, the situation... .if God wants to move in and take control He will!

Something I have never thought about before is that GOD is not mentioned anywhere in this book.  It is a story, a telling of life, but Gods name or presence is never mentioned.  In that... Esther is a book that lends hope.  Hope in Providence.  Hope in One, not "in the now".

How often have I thought God was nowhere around.  That during this hard or even during a good time in my life, He was not there.  God is never anonymous in our life.  But we need to see Him, feel Him, know Him... even when there is not a "SUPERNATURAL" going on! :)

Father, My prayer is that You would be My God.  That I would learn to know that in You I have my hope and my being.  That in You , I am never alone.  May I find assurance, that when I do not SEE you, or FEEL you... that you are still there.  Father God, draw me to a closeness with you that I have never known.  I pray for a special touch, a special calling and direction for my life.  Amen

Life...

has been crazy to say the least.  But I will be back this week.  I'm so excited that I have the privilege of being a part of the womens study by Beth Moore on Esther.  We had our opening night last night, and I am already amazed and excited by just the introduction!  I can not wait to share with you, my walk thought this study!

I know and believe that this is a timely "God appointed and anointed" study for me at the moment.  Lot's of crossroads and changes in our family and lives... so I need to know God's plan for me as a woman, now more than ever!

I appologize...

for not coming back with Song of Solomon.  There have been some happenings in our family that have taken my attention.  Not anything terrible.... but I needed to give my undivided attention to family.

I've been having a lot of one on One conversations lately with the Lord.  You see, our oldest son will be leaving in 2 days for Afghanistan.  I seems some of the orders have changed and that the mission will be a bit more dangerous than we had first believed.  I will honestly say, I have spent a lot of hours praying for God's peace for our family.

I know that God is able to protect our son.  I also know that my son needs to see that God is his refuge and source of strength.  He needs a personal relationship that he has never had and that is my first prayer.  I pray for his protection, but am keenly aware that the enemy of this world has his hand in play in all this, and that something "could" happen.  I am not one to go blindly into the future without realizing all the possibilities. 

I've prayed that my husband will have peace.   I know this has been so hard on him.  He has spent to much energy trying to teach our son the right things.... and watching him make mistakes is and has been tough.  I have had some deep talks with the Lord about shielding my husband through this time too.

And our son leaves behind 6 brothers and sisters... of all ages.  My heart is heavy for those who are old enough to know what is going on, where he is going, the possibilities... I know they worry.  For the little ones who really don't understand... .I have prayed for God to protect and encourage their hearts and emotions.  Regardless of when our son comes home, he will be different.  Everyone that we know who has any military experience said to prepare for that.  That he will never be the "brother and son" that he was once.  So... I pray for wisdom for all of us, to love him, and care for him, however he returns to us.

I am not from a military family... .have no military friends per say... .so this is all very new to me.  The only source I know to hold onto, to give my grief and anguish too, to totally depend on is Jesus!  My Savior, my Redeemer...

I will return soon with a new study or thought... but for now.... lift us up in your prayers.

A quick thought...

My week has been busier than I anticipated.  I'll be back to Song of Solomon on Monday. 

I spent today doing yard work with my oldest daughter and her sweetheart.  My husband has a really bad back, so it has become my job to help keep things mowed and cared for.  I will be honest.... I have never, ever mowed my own yard.  Even growing up my brother or my dad always did the yard work.  Honestly, I've always been scared to mow.  Guess it's crazy, but I never thought I could really do it.  But things happen, situations change.... and you find yourself needing to broaden your scope of ability.  I didn't want to do it, I hate to sweat, I hate dirt, I'm south a prissy southern girl over all! :)

But today, I got out there, hair in a bandanna, old clothes, ready to tackle a new challenge in my life.  We have a very rough yard, not smooth at all!  So I started really slow... gosh I was so afraid of turning over. But then, after a little while, I was more comfortable, and cranked up the speed.  Before I knew it... I looked back and the yard was finished!  Wooo Hooo!!!  I did it.  And I was really proud.

So.. what is the point behind my long story?  Well... I think that sometimes God calls us to do something hard for Him.  Something that maybe we have not ever done before, have no idea how to do, etc.  But if we step out on faith, even small steps, however unstable they may be, before long, we find out that we were able to do it all along!  God always equips us when we step out of faith.  And before we know it..He is calling us to take another step, then another.... and all along God is there, equipping, preparing, giving us all we need in that moment.

I have to think of the scripture.  I can do all things through Christ which gives me strength!  Phil 4:13

That's it.  I hope everyone has a wonderful, blessed, amazing and glorious Sunday!  God is so amazing!  He is worthy of all of our praise!

God's Superior Love ...

GOD'S SUPERIOR LOVE

How God Feels About Us!  Jesus love for us is better than wine!  Praise the Lord!

Spiritual Immaturity Is Not Rebellion:

God feels different emotions related to how people respond to Him.  So many are confused about the Love of God.  Repentance is a changing of attitude of the heart that turns "from sin" and "to God" according to the "light of understanding".  Spiritual immaturity is not the same as rebellion.  God looks inwardly when we see outwardly. 

Our repentance, obedience and love for God are real and sincere even while they are weak and flawed.  Weak love is not false love!  The sincere intention to obey God is distinct from the attainment of mature obedience!  The believer who sins shows their sincerity by QUICKLY REPENTING and renewing their war against that sin. 

God delights in a sincere desire  or cry in our spirit to obey Him.  God does not confuse spiritual immaturity with rebellion.  If we become confused by this (especially we who are "seasoned" Christians, we will bring others under deep condemnation). 

A good way to illustrate.  David seemed to commit much more serious sins than Saul, but God's favor continued with David?  Why?  When David sinned his heart was wounded because he grieved God's heart!  He cared more about his RELATIONSHIP with God than the consequences of being caught.  When Saul sinned he planned to continue in it until caught and confronted.  He only gave an outward show of repentance as he continued in rebellion.

MY NOTE:  I must say that these simple thoughts have brought me so much freedom in my life and how I see my passion for the Lord.  And it has changed my eyes to see those new in the faith more as He does!

*******

THE SWEET PERFUME OF GOD'S PERSONALITY

The Father's affection and personality is a sweet perfume.  We rest in the God who sees, feels, runs and embraces and kisses our heart.  (Luke 15:20 - Prodigal Son)

The father SAW the prodigal son - God's view of His people.

The father FELT COMPASSION for the prodigal son - God's tenderness for His people.

The father RAN TOWARDS the prodigal son - God's action and initiative for His people.

The father EMBRACED (fell on) the prodigal son - God's affection for His people.

The father KISSED the prodigal son - God's desire for nearness with His people!!!

*******

Father God, thank You for Your amazing love and grace that covers me.  Thank You that when I seem to fail You in so many ways, that You see my heart and know that I still have set the course to follow You.  Thank You for seeing my heart.  For loving me... .for forgiving me and allowing me to carry on in my walk to serve You more.  May my heart always follow after you.  Amen

Some thoughts from the Song of Solomon...

Some revelations:

Jesus has a passionate affection for and enjoys His people.

In the Song of Solomon the beauty of Jesus as the Bridegroom King is revealed.

The fact that Jesus see's all believers as beautiful, even in our weakness.

There are many principles of growing love and a mature partnership with Jesus in the Song of Solomon.

The Brides journey began with longing for the kisses of His Word and ended up encountering Jesus in His holy jealous love.  

Many times in the Song of Solomon there is phrasing about kisses on the mouth.  This is a symbol of a loving, marriage relationship between God and His Bride (believers).  It is a love like none other!

God is raising up a people who long for the kisses of God's Word!

The ultimate purpose and meaning for our life is to experience intimacy with God.

Some paradox ideas:

The Bride begins her journey with Grace.  Song 1:5-6  I am dark (in heart), but lovely (to God)..... my own vineyard (heart) I have not kept.  We are a sinful people, our heart is dark because we have not "kept it" by choosing to serve Him and grow closer to him.

But she has a desperate cry to have more of Him.  Tell me, O You whom I love, where do You feed your flocks... she is looking for where to find Him.

In verse 16 the Bride begins to understand that she is beautiful and pleasant to Him.

********

A few more principles to think on:

God loves unbelievers.

God enjoys and delights in young (immature) believers.  God loves unbelievers, but he rejoices over believers.  He delights in our repentance and our newness in Him.  He smiles over us as we begin the growth process... long before we become mature!

God's enjoyment is not the same as His approval.  We must remember that we make mistakes even as believers, we need His correcting.  And He will correct us!  He loves and enjoys us as we learn and grow and strive to be intimate and pure with Him... but we still do things He will not approve of.

God's discipline is not the same as His rejection!  This is wonderful!  He disciplines us... but He never rejects us if we continue to grow and mature and seek His face!  When we find we are being disciplined... be joyful... because that means he has NOT given up on us!

God is grieved over the persistent sin of His people.  Just as stated in Rev. 3:16-17 God hates luke-warmness!  When we continue to sin we can NOT remain in His garden.  We can not be His bride, His lover... God loves us so much, but His presence can not abide in the presence of sin!

Spiritual disciplines do not earn us favor with God.  Prayer, fasting, meditation on His Word are ordained by God, but they do not gain us favor.  God gives to us on the basis of our heart and how much we love and serve and seek His face!

Maturity allows us to receive more, Not to be LOVED more.  God grants a greater measure of power to those who are mature in our relationship with Him... but He loves us all the same, regardless of where we are.  His love is passionate, immeasurable, and amazing!!!

Ok, that is just a little of what has blessed me!  Hope you enjoy this.  I will share more soon.

My Beloved

The past few weeks I have been involved in a study on the Song of Solomon at my church.  The next few days I'm going to share some of my favorite parts.  But for tonight, I want to share the lyrics of a wonderful song called My Beloved.  It is such a wonderful and touching song...... enjoy it.

You're My Beloved
You're My Bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me My love

You're Beautiful to Me
So beautiful to Me

Under My mercy
Come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you
My child

You're Beautiful to Me
So Beautiful to Me

I sing over you My song of peace
Cast all your care down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me

I'll breathe My life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of My strength
I'll take you to My quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in Me and be made whole

You're My beloved
You're My Bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love

Scripture Share... More thoughts to come.

Psalm 119:57-60

You are my portion, O Lord;

I have promised to obey your words.

I have sought your face with all my heart;

be gracious to me according to your promise.

I have considered my ways

And have turned my steps to your statutes.

I will hasten and not delay

To obey your commands.

Hiding In Thee...

You have heard the phrase... I want to find a hole and crawl in it... Well that is how I have felt the last few days.  So many little annoyances that add up to stress and discontentment in my life.  I find myself easily annoyed with those I love and spend all my time with. 

Sometimes I just want to silence the world, my mind, my heart... just have no noise of any kind.  I can make my home totally quiet... but I am NO good at turning off my brain.  I envy those who can just lay their head on their pillow and be out! 

But just now, as I was telling my little ones and big ones good night.... the old hymn, "Hiding In Thee" came to mind.  What a wonderful and precious thought.  I do not need a hole in the ground.  I have a Savior, a Father, a Lover of my soul... that I can hind in at any moment.  Let me share the lyrics... it is worth a read!

O safe to the Rock that is higher than I,
My soul in its conflicts and sorrows would fly;
So sinful, so weary, Thine, Thine, would I be;
Thou blest “Rock of Ages,” I’m hiding in Thee.

Refrain

Hiding in Thee, hiding in Thee,
Thou blest “Rock of Ages,”
I’m hiding in Thee.

In the calm of the noontide, in sorrow’s lone hour,
In times when temptation casts o’er me its power;
In the tempests of life, on its wide, heaving sea,
Thou blest “Rock of Ages,” I’m hiding in Thee.

Refrain

How oft in the conflict, when pressed by the foe,
I have fled to my refuge and breathed out my woe;
How often, when trials like sea billows roll,
Have I hidden in Thee, O Thou Rock of my soul.

Refrain

Oh thank You, my ROCK OF AGES... that I may hide in You.  That when I am in conflict, pressed by the enemy... I can run to you and "breathe out my woe".  I'm so thankful... that You love and adore my praise.  But I am blessed... that You love me so much... You are willing to listen to my moaning.  

Praise You, Thank You, I Adore You...

People Listening!

So tonight I am sitting at a local Starbucks waiting on one of my daughters to finish a Photography class!  (She is getting really good by the way!)

But I have been in this store for a little over an hour and heard at least four conversations regarding God.  Ok... I am trying not to be judgmental... truly I am... but folks are really confused and are being led astray!  I'm not talking simple little "issues" that are different from denomination to denomination... I'm talking basic BIBLICAL accountability and such.  Wow... you would have thought God was really this "mystic" being... a "fairy" that hangs out in our "earth"... well that was at least one explanation!  Wow!

Father God... please, help me to hold fast to YOUR WORD and none other.  Please let me know YOU so completely and intimately through your WORD and my time with you that I am not led astray or compromised by others "opinions".  I know that there is ONE GOD, and ONE WAY... only through Your Son JESUS CHRIST and His shedding of blood for me!  Help me when I read books, hear messages, etc.. that I not become a christian with a knowledge of catchy phrases and quotes... but of YOUR WORDS. 

Ok, that's my "soap box" for tonight!  Blessings to you all!

Cleaning Out The Temple..

I have been reading a book by Tim Hill called Beyond the Mist.  It's been a wonderful "read" about true revival.

The chapter I just finished made me take a look at my life.  It was centered around what unfolded as Jesus saw the money changers, all all that was unholy in the temple.  How they had the "dove" caged.  I have reflected on my "temple"  and what I had in it that wasn't supposed to be there.

I want, I long for a new stirring, a new revival, a new thing... beyond what I ever expected.  And I know to do that... there needs to be a cleaning.  Not that I have "deep, dark sins" anywhere... but even the small things... simple things like too much TV.  Thoughts that should be crucified, and such that I know is not perfectly pleasing to God.

Why is it so easy to put the Holy Spirit in a cage, and limit His work in my life, in my family, in my church.  Why is it so easy to let things of this "world" collect in my temple... so they are what I focus on instead of His voice, His face?  I don't want that.  I want more of HIM.  I want a so much more...

We sang a new song at church on Sunday, The More I Seek You.  I think it was made popular by Kari Jobe.  It is my hearts desire today and always.  I want to seek all that God has for me... all that He wants me to be and have... I want it all.  Not just a little, not just a portion... I want it all.  And if I have to clean house, daily, hourly, moment by moment.. I will.

Enjoy the song.

Do you have those times...

in your life when it seems that everything falls apart?  That regardless of what you do for the Lord, your family, your church... it is never enough or makes a real difference?  That's where I have been the past few days.

But anyone who knows me well also know that music is my "word"... music is what can change my situation quicker than anything else.  I love Christian music, especially worship music.  I've always loved music.

Anyway... a few nights ago, I was particularly down.  We had been informed of some upcoming changes with some of our dearest friends... changes that would carry into our church... and even our family because we love them so.  I was so defeated... I felt alone and broken and confused.  I was in tears when I clicked on KLOVE (my favorite online site for music) this song came on: 





My load was lifted.  Not gone, but such a reminder that God is right there with me.  That I am never alone in my burden.  That when my "everything" falls apart, it's just a season... but a season in which if I watch and allow Him to be... my God is strong and mighty!  I just have to keep holding on! 

Praise God for He is to always be praised!

Maundy Thursday

Tonight we our family attended the Maundy Thursday service of a local church.  Two years ago the pastor there introduced me to the Maundy Thursday services.  I had never been a part of them before, especially not in the pentecostal church.  I have to say that this Pastor is one of a kind... draws from so many aspects of church history and service types and melds them into his services.

Anyway.... once again this year, I was touched and moved so very deeply.  Thinking of our Risen King, being a servant just hours before the longest, darkest period of his life... humbles me so much. 

In this particular church, during the services, we still participate in a very lost, and misunderstood tradition of "foot washing".  It was just three years ago when I experience this for the first time.  I was not prepared for the waves of emotion that flooded me as women, whom I respect and love as mentor's... knelt beside me and washed MY feet.  The prayers they prayed touched my deepest needs and that place of longing to be truly a part of these amazing women.  Tonight was no different.  And to add to this wonderful, humbling, time.... my 3 year old, wanted her "feet washed" as well.  I couldn't tell where my tears ended and the bath of water began... and the prayers these wonderful women of God prayed over my daughter, this young tender little girl... well I have a great hope that our big and awesome God heard them all!

As we move into Friday.... and Saturday, with all the hustle and bustle of preparing for kids egg hunts, and family coming for lunch, and grocery shopping, etc....  I am determined to keep my focus on the Via Dolorosa... the way of suffering my Jesus walked.  I will remember pain and suffering He withstood as soldiers mocked Him, beat Him, humiliated Him.   I will remember the sorrow His mother felt.  I will remember the pain of what she had always known would come to pass, now unfolding in front of her. I will remember the unfathomable feeling of abandonment... my Jesus felt as His Father, turned His face away.  I will keep my focus on all that Jesus did for me.  All He endured... for just me... as if there was no one else who needed it but me. 

And Sunday... as all of my children are dressed in their new shoes and new clothes... I will focus... on the new body, the risen and transformed body, that Jesus now has.  I will remember the joy of the women who found the tomb empty.  I will remember the victory that is available to me and my life, because my Wonderful, Beautiful, Precious Jesus, ascended to hell and took hold of the keys.  I will remember as we sing of MY REDEEMER.... that Jesus sits at the right hand of His Father.  I will rejoice that the Sacrificial Lamb... is alive and waiting for me.  I will Sing The Wondrous Story.... of the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. 

I will focus my life, my will, my desires, my entire being... to be more and more like my Lord, every day.  I will love people, to look past their sin and disease, and love them where they are.  I will do all I can do to "see" them as "Jesus" see's them... with compassion.  And I will work daily, to live a humble life, as a servant to all.  May I serve others in everyday, ordinary ways.... as I SERVE MY KING.

There is strength in the name of the Lord, there is power in the name of the Lord, there is hope in the name of the Lord..... blessed is he who comes, in the name of the LORD.

It's been a while...

since I posted on this site.  Life seems to keep me hopping! 

God has blessed me so much.  Every day is a treasure.  I am learning to sit back and enjoy special moments of each day, especially with my children.  Time goes by so quickly..... I blink and a year has passed.  I don't want to let my life get so "complicated" that I forget to enjoy and savor those little moments with the ones I love.

God continually shows me how big and mighty He really is.  There is a peace in my life that I have never known.  Sometimes, maybe it's a bad thing, because I get complacent.  But then again, maybe it's just that I am learning to rest in Him.  I don't think I've ever been able to do that before.

Oh most Holy and Gracious God, thank You for Your blessings.  May my eyes always be on You.  And may Your peace always be found in my life, even in the midst of the craziness this world offers. Amen.